The IVF Club

A Personal Blog About IVF Treatment & Infertility

The 2 Week Wait Is Over

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Today heralds the end of my two week wait.  The spot of red on the toilet paper today told  me a story I did not want to know.  I am not pregnant.  Nine cycles and no results. Countless embryos and no result. Countless injections and drugs and no result. Countless waiting around to see if I get pregnant before I think about changing jobs.

The bad news is that I will begin another round of waiting. Waiting to start another cycle all over again. Waiting to see my doctor. Waiting to ovulate. Waiting for more blood tests.  It hardly seems fair – 9 attempts and no result.  My womb kills embryos.  They just don’t want to stick and there is medically no answer that anyone give me as to why.  The other  especially since a friend of mine announced she was pregnant after only doing 1 stimulated cycle of IVF.

The good news, if one wants to see the positive in this story, is that I can officially go into Christmas period and have a glass of wine. I can enjoy the work Christmas party without worrying about am I or aren’t I pregnant.

I’ve also made a decision though that will probably change the course of my destiny. The decision I made was that if I was not pregnant by the end of this year, then I would reconsider what I was doing from a work life perspective.  No more putting my life on hold in the hope that I will get pregnant. Don’t get me wrong – I will still try to get pregnant. I don’t know for how long. I just won’t put my life on hold while I wait for it to happen or not happen.  So I have some critical questions to address over the Christmas and New Year period.

The IVF Waiting Game

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Well I am officially in the 2 week waiting zone but the reality is, when you are doing IVF, every aspect of your life can become a waiting game.  And it’s a game that is not always fun.

The problem with IVF is that all one ever does is WAIT! Your life becomes measured in units of time.

You wait to get your period so you can start IVF.  You wait day after day to ovulate so the frozen embryo can be transferred.  Yout wait until it can be transferred. You wait for your next blood test. You wait for your next ultrasound appointment. You do the two week wait. You wait to get pregnant. You wait before you do the pregnancy test. You wait for the fertility clinic to call you back. You wait for those test results even though most times you already know the answer.

You wait to start the contraceptive pill. You wait to start the nasal spray. You wait to start injections. You wait to do the final injection.  You wait to have sex so the sperm is at it’s peak. You wait for Egg Retrieval. You wait for embryo transfer. You wait to hear news about the rest of your fertilization rates so you know how many you have left on ice. You wait to get your period.

You wait until you are in a better emotional state to tell your friends and family the outcome. You wait for the grief to disappear. You wait until you can get your next appointment. You wait another month before can start again. You wait for it to be your turn to be pregnant. You wait for your weight to return back to normal after all the weight gain from ferility medications. You wait for your skin to return back to normal because the fertility medications have made your nose look like Rudoph the Red nose reindeer. You wait in a job you no longer enjoy just in case you might be pregnant.

I don’t know about you, but I feel I’ve waited long enough! I just want a positive outcome. Four more days til my next blood test.  Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

Day 5 IVF Results

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Embryo transfer on Tuesday went off without a hitch – apart from the fact that I think I unsettled the embryologist. No necessarily a good thing when they are the custodian of your embryos.   The embryologist came in as usual and informed me that they had chosen a mature blastocyst that was just starting to hatch. I saw a lovely picture of it.  I asked the embryologist if there were any more blastocysts suitable for transfer.  I think I may have taken her by surprise.

She asked me if I understood the risks of having two blastocysts transferred and that the one they had chosen was top quality.   I told her I understood the risks but I did not mind if I had a multiple birth.  I told her that I was 40 and I didn’t care.  I told her that every time I came to clinic I had promising blastocysts but by the next day there were never any left apart from the one that got transferred. I said I that given this, I thought it would be better in me!  I wasn’t having a go at the clinic for saying this – it was more the fact that it has been so disappointing not to have any more embryos left.

She said that there were a couple of early blastocysts but that they would have to go back and reassess which one would be suitable for transfer.  I mentioned that I had filled out the relevent paperwork that outlined that we preferred to have the option if having one or two transferred.  I wasn’t sure of the protocol but had wondered when they were going to check with me if I wanted one or two transferred. The end result was that the clinic ended up transferring two.  The whole experience was a little more relaxing than normal – for a start there was soft music playing in the background and for some reason I felt more relaxed than I had in ages.  Maybe it was the acupuncture I had? Maybe it was the fact that I am no longer working for same manager who I used to work for (talk about stress me out).

After the transfer the embryologist reappeared with the paperwork in hand to ensure I had given consent for two.  After looking at the paperwork she realised that we had already nominated this on the form so from her end everything was OK.  I had suspected that I had unsettled her but that fact that she reappeared with paperwork confirmed it.  Believe it or not, after my discussion with her I had to wait for 2 days to find out how many embryos survived to day 5.  I had been expecting that we would get the same results as usual – no embryos left for freezing but I was pleasantly surprised.  We actually had three surviving blastocysts so now have them on ice!  How exciting!  Could it be that extra care was given to my little embies after my discussion. Probably not – but it still makes me wonder.  Doesn’t matter – I have spares. This is the best news – no more drugs for a little while.   So it is now the third day since my transfer and I am in the dreaded two week wait.   Back to breast groping again.

Fertilization Results Day 4

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Well the moment of truth has arrived.  As the clinic has not been accessible over the weekend, I learnt today that we have 8 remaining embryos.  Essentially, the development of one embryo was arrested (I think this means it stopped developing) and the other two were growing a bit slowly and were behind. As I well know, a lot can happen between day 4 and day 5.  Last time we had 13 day 3 embryos and only ended up with 1 by Day 5.

The funny thing is that I have this spreadsheet thing going on where I record all my IVF results – from egg collection – to how many is left at day 3 and day 5.  Based on our track record, I actually predicted that we would end up with 8 embryos by Day 3.  My next prediction is that we will only end up with 1 by the time we get down to it.  I’d prefer not to have to make this prediction and I could be wrong. It could be worse – we might end up with none or we might end up with more.  Having more would be a pleasant surprise.

This time, we had been thinking of having two embryos transferred.  However, I have not been feeling well the last few days.   I’ve still got a sore tummy and I have been waking up to go to the toilet to urinate about 3 times a night. This is not normal for me. Given this, I called the clinic and let them know. I didn’t want to risk transfer if I was unwell.  The end result was that I had to visit the clinic again today and have an ultrasound and blood test.  Everything came up normal even though I don’t really feel my normal self.  The ultrasound revealed that potentially I may have a spot on my gall bladder and this would be worth checking out, however, it shouldn’t impact the transfer and I am still good to go for tomorrow. So my dilemma now is whether to transfer one embryo or two?  Might have to sit on that one until I see how I feel tomorrow.

Cycle 9: Egg Retrieval Results

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Yesterday’s egg collection yielded 17 eggs – 16 of which were mature enough to commence the delicate micro-injection process for fertilisation.

This egg retrieval was pretty unremarkable.  Out of six stimulated cycles, this is one of the cycles where I have had slightly less eggs. That is what it is like with IVF, the results can be pretty unpredictable every time.  I had been hoping that the eggs would be of better quality this time around but I have just heard from my nurse and of those 16, only 11 fertilised.  So I will now be in the waiting zone – looking forward to hearing how many are left on Monday on Day 4 and then on Tuesday for Embryo Transfer.  I am not a big fan of waiting over the weekend to hear how our little embies are faring.  So it becomes a little mini waiting game – a prelude to the main wait once the embryos are transferred.

This time we have nominated to have 2 embryos transferred.  Most stimulated cycles we only have one but we thought that if two were available, then we might as well put them both in. That way we’ll know one way or another if one or both have been successful. Other than that, I am resting up and drinking plenty of fluids to try and avoid some of the main unpleasant side effects of IVF.  I am still bloated. My stomach is still sore so it hurts me when I walk and also when I laugh! Bring on the panadol! This time, my throat is also sore and I believe that this is a side effect of anaesthetic.

So next steps:

  • Find out when (and if) the transfer will happen next Tuesday.
  • Book acupuncture appointment

Wish me luck.  Good luck to any of those brave ladies who is also having treatment at this time.