Menstrual cycle Archives

One delicious thing I like about IVF, is that it actually gives me a break from trying to work out when I am ovulating. Seriously! I mean the good thing is that the clinic does all checking and I don’t have to monitor anything. I just have to turn up and follow instructions. Given I am a naturally lazy person, this suits me down to the ground.

It also suits me because I work in a job where I am always monitoring everything – from managing and tracking how a project is running to reviewing and analysing sales data. For me, not monitoring anything is like a dream come true! Hand holding at work is not something I enjoy.

Unfortunately when I am not doing IVF, I am back to monitoring and tracking my menstrual cycle. For some reason, I still have some glimmer of hope that I will conceive naturally even though I know that in our case it is highly unlikely. So with this in mind, I now find myself painstakingly recording the results of urine tests and fertility microscopes. The problem is that I’ve been monitoring my cycle for a number of days and it is now day 19 and I still haven’t ovulated. Although this is not uncommon following IVF treatment, I am impatient for my cycle to get back on track.

In any case, my plan of attack has been to ambush my husband and coerce him into having sex with me more frequently. Such a task I know!! He hasn’t complained yet but I suspect that he has not really appreciated the fact that he has had less sleep. Such is the joy of trying to conceive.

IVF is unpredictable. My Doctor thinks I should be pregnant by now. This makes me feel a whole lot better. Not! The problem with IVF is that the more times you do it, the harder it gets. I am not exactly sure why but I think that statistically the majority of women get pregnant from IVF after 6-7 stimulated cycles. I have now done 5 stimulated cycles and two transfers and I’ve had no luck. This weight of expectation does not help.

The more you go on, the more there is an expectation that your turn is due. But IVF is never that simple. It makes it hard also for friends and family to understand what we are going through. Often people will say, don’t give up. Keep trying. This is probably one of the worse things people can say.

They need to understand that when you get to the point of doing IVF you have already exhausted all other options – there is already a history of failed natural attempts. IVF gets harder the more times you do it. Apart from the money invested with nothing to show, there is also the physical demands on your body and living a life that has become less social and centred around your menstrual cycle and when and what drugs you are going to take. Life to some extent is on hold. You stay in a job with a manager who is critical and treats you badly because you need stability, you need your job to pay for IVF and you want to be eligible for maternity leave in the event you actually get pregnant.

There is also the fact that you are starting to reach a point where you feel you have no control over your body. It feels like your uterus is destined to become a graveyard.

The fact is that there is nothing anyone can say to their friend. Make it clear you are there for them if they need you but don’t push it. All they can be is a friendly ear and a shoulder to cry on. Because as time goes on, that shoulder is most definitely needed.

A Positive Thing About IVF

What Not to Say to Someone Undergoing IVF Treatment